It gets really tiring to listen to non-Indigenous people think they know all about Indigenous issues and ways. Those who have maybe talked with some Natives, been to a cermemony or two or did some peyote or ayahuasca in South America.
I could go to another country and participate in their festivities, their religious practices, but unless I grew up there and lived there for years or even my entire life, I would never pretend to know them or their ways. The problem is that once we think we know someone or something, we stop listening and learning.
I don't talk about being Native, I don't broadcast it because my world is so far removerd from the mainstream society that it would take a lot of time and energy to explain even the simplest of concepts. I spent decades learning and teaching Sacred Circle Ways. Unfortunately, I was not brought up with these teachings. If I have a hard time grasping the magnitude of them, how can I expect anyone else to get it? I can't. Western ways permeate all cultures today.
So I stopped teachings and am devoting myself to learning more and getting and keeping myself on path. It is becoming more of a challenge daily with the imablances in and around all of us. The growing darkness, the earth changes and long winter are in front of us. Yet in order to find my way Home, I need to work harder at being conscious, balanced and honest with myself first and foremost.
The truth is that I have a long way to go and a lot to learn. I am blessed in every which way yet I sometimes sabotage my own journey. The choices I make are my own, in spite of all the awareness and support that I have been given. We are all responsible for our own choices.
My prayer these days is to know Truth, to walk in Truth and carry the burden of truth. It is a burden beccause we have to be honest with ourselves at all times. How many of us truly do that?
Nonetheless, I have so much love around me and my Guidance is incredible, I cannot allow myself to fall into darkness. I have to be more vigilant of the negative thoughts that run through my head and see the goodness in and around me, without denying those parts of me that exist, the ones I wish weren't there. There is a battle going on inside of me, but I have been given the tools to win the good fight.
Denial only makes things worse. Denying the Earth Changes will not stop them from happening, it will just be more of a shock when it does happen. Time is ticking and I pray that each step I take brings me closer to Creator, to Spirit and to Home.