I woke up this morning with the thought, "I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to be here".
"Where did that come from?" I wondered. I know I've been tired lately and wishing for a vacation from mundane daily chores. In the past I wanted to leave this planet a few times, but this thought this morning came out of nowhere. After being fully immersed in my Dream Classes with my Teacher and community, I have found a new focus on life, a new vitality and new direction. I have a reason to get up in the morning. So this thought was not expected.
I wondered if I was picking up on Cosmology. We are entering the Dark time of the year and according to our Teachings, we are in the southwest of the Medicine Wheel, heading towards the WEST which is about Surrender and Death. We have to die to our Ego in order to be open to the unknown, to Spirit and the Dreaming.
This month, starting on Wednesday, October 24th, we are in the Moon of Inter-Relations for one month. This Moon is about making room for others in our lives, connecting, reaching out, listening and learning about others' perspectives, letting go of our own beliefs, opinions and judgments. It is a death of our attitudes and behaviours, if only for a brief moment. In doing so, we are opening to something outside ourselves, often something bigger than us.
Inter-relations is not just about people. It can be about our relationship with God/Goddess/Creator, with animals, trees, flowers, even with objects such as our cars, clothes, home, a favourite mug or chair.... It is about seeing something from a different point of view. How does that which is not us view their reality? How does it or they view you? There is a spirit in all things and we can access that reality if we try hard enough.
At our Grandmother Lodge last Sunday, I found myself expressing how the Indigenous perspective is lacking in our Modern world, but how we managed to preserve the wisdom of our sacred ways and are still here, if only in small numbers. Now the Earth and all life on her is suffering because of the missing link on the Wheel of Life. The Red Race are the Keepers of the Earth. We know how to live in harmony and balance with Nature and Spirit. But few are interested anymore.
We are not ones to impose our beliefs on others, but we do ask respect for our ways when you enter our territory. When I do Circles, I invite you into my world and generously share the wisdom and teachings that have been passed on to me from my Teachers, Spirit and the Ancestors.
One of the things I believe in is the right to die with dignity when my time comes. Our Ancestors and Traditionalists today do not fear death. It is seen as a natural part of the circle of Life. I don't want anyone trying to revive me when I am going. So the thought I woke up with this morning was telling me that I need to prepare for the inevitable. I have been procrastinating about writing my Personal Directive and my Will, settling my affairs, being ready.... But it is time to take action.
This fact was confirmed this afternoon when I got a phone call from "Dying with Dignity Canada". They are looking for donations but also volunteers. I agreed to join. I think I have a lot to say on this topic and I want to see this law being honoured. Assisted Suicide is now legal in Canada but there is a long way to go before it is easily accepted and implemented by hospitals and doctors at the right time for the right people.
The upcoming Moon in November is the Moon of Surrender. It takes us deeper into the Southwest of the Wheel, where we find the Nomad. It is about change and asks us to let go of what we know in order to enter the unknown. Death is a slow process and begins the moment we are born. We die a little every day. Whether we want to deny, ignore or resist this fact is a personal choice.
Right now at this time of year as the hours of darkness increase and the veil between worlds thins, death is a theme. With Halloween coming up, TV and movies like to focus on fear, terror and torturous methods of dying. But as someone who faced death in my 30's, I can honestly say that dying can be painful enough without making it into a horror show. Some of the medical treatments to keep us alive can be worse than death itself.
Death is not something to fear or to avoid, as if we could... but we need to talk more about it, we need to prepare ourselves for the end, and it is not just about being old. Death can come to anyone, any time.
Are you ready?
How would you like to die?
Would you like to have assisted suicide if you have a terminal disease?
What is it that you fear about death? Are you afraid of suffering? Do you fear the unknown?
What are your beliefs about the afterlife. These are all good questions to ask ourselves.
I have a private group on Facebook called "We're Not Dead Yet". Although it is only for people age 50+. We talk about issues of aging, illness, health, death and dying, the afterlife and more... and often with humour.
If you are interesting in joining, you can message me on FB.
To learn more about assisted suicide and Canadian laws, click the link below: